Where did the time go?

Four weeks ago, I was stepping off a plane in DC. America felt so strange, but familiar at the same time. Although I was happy the 18 hour flight was over and I was in much closer proximity to home, I missed Botswana. Even now, I miss Bots. I miss the most lovely people we met and the friends we made. I  miss the bright blue sky; even the bluest sky I've seen here at home does not compare to the daily vibrant color of the Botswana sky. I miss choc-kits and sparkles and fat cakes; even though I have some of those rationed in my apartment at school along with an obscene amount of tea that I brought back. I miss the melody of Setswana, that always sounded like music as it rolled off the tongue. Although when I tried, it sounded more like a two year old banging on a xylophone, making those that know what Mozart sounds like cringe. Most of all I miss my team, my family for five weeks. I don't even know if I can describe the kind of community we had as a team, but it is something I never experienced to that degree and something I hope to reflect to others.

Even with all these aspects and more that did not write here (because it would go on and on and end up including  me admitting that I miss the Curry Pot , where we ate both lunch and dinner, to some degree), I have enjoyed being back. I have been able to spend time and reconnect with family and friends. I went down the shore for a little and enjoyed the remnants of summer before moving back to school and starting classes this past week.


I'm still processing a lot of what God showed me this summer. For example, I have been battling between feeling guilty and convicted. This is nothing new to coming back home. Since going to the feeding station, I have been dealing with feeling guilty and being convicted. While I was over in Botswana, I got an e-mail from my youth pastor Dave, in which he said something that I shared with my roommates from project and made myself go back and get reacquainted with often.  Dave said "Guilt is meant to hold you back.  Conviction will help you say, 'God has put me in my position with the resources I have.  Let me use them appropriately for his glory and never hold on to them as if they are mine.' " It is so true. Nothing we have is truly our own. That can of soup I bought this week is from money I earned working this summer at the job God opened doors for me to have. It is something I am still learning and God is still trying to loosen my grasp on things of this world. This is nothing I can do on my own. As human, we want to cling to something tangible, something we think will make us feel better, fill the void, save us from despair. But really, the only thing that can do those things is God.


I'm gonna be bold right now, so bear with me. Everybody deals with this. Those who don't know or believe in God. Those who believe in God and even those of us that are following and living our lives for Him. Now maybe a year ago, I would have said that only people who don't know God deal with this. But the reality I've been realizing is that it is something I need to work on. So maybe this isn't true for everyone, but even though I have been intentionally living for God (or at least attempting to) for the last six or seven years,  I feel there are things that I try to put into this hole to try to complete me other than God. I have been putting or rather, letting God become a bigger part of this, but I still say, 'God you can have this part of the hole, but  in parts H to Z I am going to put other things there, so don't worry about those guys.' I figure there is bound to be other people who have difficulty with this too. As humans, we want control. We want to hold on to something. And because of that it is difficult to 1) surrender ourselves entirely to Christ and 2) trust God's plan is greater than ours.


That second one is something I've really learned this summer. I know that God's plan is a million to the millionth power times better than my own plans. Somehow, probably because I don't know what is down the road or the reasons God's plan is better, I still somewhere in my mind think this way or with that, my life would be how it should. 


With all that said (or rambled), I have learned that living a life with Christ in the center (or at least trying to keep Christ at the center) is a process. We never will master it. And while some people would say that makes it not worth it, that is why I love it. I can never be good enough on my own for God. If i could do it all, beat the video game of life, I would not need God. I would not have needed Jesus to come and die for me so I can be with Him for eternity. I would not have a personal friendship with Him that goes deeper than any other human relationship I can have. I would not get to interact with the One who created this earth, this galaxy and me. I would never see the amazing power of God be used to overcome my weaknesses, my faults to work in ways I could not have crafted in my wildest imagination. I would never experience God's love, which is pure and intense and incomparable to our human capacity to love. Without all that, life would not be what it can be with God.

Kgale Hill

Climbing Kgale Hill is definitely a highlight of the trip for me. A bunch of the UB (University of Botswana) students joined us for the afternoon. Throughout the project, students from BotsCru ( the Campus Crusade group on UB's campus) joined us. I honestly can't imagine not having the UB students involved in the project. I am so grateful to get to know them and to have their help and guidance along the way.

It took about an hour to climb to the top. Our team split up into smaller groups each going at their each desired pace. As we climbed up the rocky trails, it was so cool to see the nature that covered the hill. Small flowers occasionally graced the branches of bushes or would pop from behind high brown grass. Leaves on trees that are not like leaves in the US, but made me think of fern leaves. The bright blue Botswana sky  was peppered with clouds that never seemed to be able to hide the sun.

When we reached the top, the entire city of Gaborone and the surrounding area sat at the foot of Kgale Hill. Mountains danced off over the horizon.  The view left me at a loss for words. All I could think off was the vast amount of land and creation I could see. All the space from the sky down to the ground and the expanse of what my eyes could see, was still like an ant in respect to how big God is. He formed and molded the mountains running along horizon. He created the people, the goats, the cows, the monkeys, and the ants that roamed in this area. And even though God is a huge dude, He cares enough about you and me to care about us and work in and through our lives.

After taking the view in for a little while, we all gathered and prayed for the city, for UB, for what God was going to do in the coming weeks and for the children and people of Old Naledi. We sang a few worship songs and the UB students led us in a few songs. We took a group picture and then headed back down to the combis wiating for us. The sun was starting to set and it soon would be dangerous to be on Kgale Hill. When we got to the bottom, one of the combis would not start. As our director and Blondie, the guy who drove the second combi, tried to jump start it, we prayed that it would start, but if not that God would be given the glory of whatever was to happen next. After many attempts and about  twenty minutes later, the combi started. I was really convicted that my first response to situations is not to turn to God and pray about it. It has continued to stick with me even here at home.


All in all, Kgale Hill was awesome.

Dumela!!!

I am safe and sound here at home! I apoligize that this blog didn't work out as I thought it would. I am going to try to post about some of the experiences I had while I was in Botswana. This is a post I wrote after the first week. For some reason it would not post while I was there.

One week ago I was just about to leave for Botswana. Now I have a full week under my belt of going from Washington DC, Senegal, South Africa and finally Botswana. There is so much to share and a limited time to share it in. It might be a little scatter brained as I write this. It's been a crazy week and it's 10:51pm here. We have been working with students here at the University of Botswana and trying to pick up as much Setswana (the native language) as we can, such as 'dumela' (do-mel-ah) is the greeting used to literally every person you pass by, talk to  and see anywhere you go. 

We have visited the feeding station for one day this week. It was so heart-breaking to see the poverty as we drove through the village. But the children are wonderful and have hearts overflowing with joy.  Yesterday, we walked through the village and prayed with the different people we met. 

Today we climbed Kgale(kah-lee) Hill, which is like a mountain. It took an hour to hike one way from the bottom to the top. The view from the top was absolutely breath-taking and you could see the entire city. God has been doing a lot in my heart about who he has made me to be and to not put limits on Him or on myself. I love my team and am excited to see what God is going to do in the next few weeks!  Miss and love you all back home!

 

24 hours left in the USA (until August!)

Tomorrow I leave for Gaborone, Botswana. It's been a crazy ride thus far, and will be getting much more intense in the coming days. Thank you to everyone who has provided me with love, encouragement, prayers and financial support. It has be such a blessing to be a part of this trip and we haven't even left yet! Our flight departs from Dulles Airport in D.C. at 5:40 pm tomorrow night. We will fly about 18 hours to Johannesburg, South Africa and then eventually arrive in Gaborone, Botswana on July 4th. I am going to try to update the blog when I can, although I am not exactly positive how much access we will have (I'll have to shorten my ramblings a bit).

At church on Sunday, they had a little 'send off' during the service. All the words of encouragement, well wishes and prayers that my fellow congregation members extended meant so much to me. But my pre-school teacher reminded me that I am where I am today because I'm an Advent Pre-School graduate.

This past week I've been spending time with friends and family, relaxing and enjoying some things I won't be able to get while I'm in Botswana. I've definitely have had more than my fair share of Wawa ( hoagies, smoothies, lemonade iced tea) and Rita's. I had some delicious homemade fried flounder. I got to celebrate an awesome friend's birthday. We even grabbed a Sandy-wich with some family at our favorite family hang out Sandy's Beef and Ale in Langhorne, Pa (Home of the Sandy-wich). (Now I've got all my shout-outs in here.)

Thank you again for all the prayers and support! My next update will be from BOTSWANA!

whoa. in 9 days we leave for Botswana!

We are in the single digits of the countdown until I leave. It's been such a crazy and awesome road since January when I found out I got accepted on the trip. Ranging from raising support, to getting my vaccinations, and even receiving overwhelming positive encouragement and support from family, friends and my church family. I have learned how blessed I am and how small I am. God, the creator of the universe, finds time between feeding the animals of the earth and making the sun rise and set to work in my life. Praise God for the raising of my financial support and working out every detail of the trip! It's been such an awesome and humbling experience to be able to see God do his thing.

The team as a whole will have raised right around $100,000 of support to make our trip possible. As of right now, we need to raise about $5,000 to enable our entire team to be able to leave next Saturday. God will make it all happen; I just have this feeling in my bones He will. If you would like to help my team raise this last 5%, you can do one of two things.
1) Pray for God to work in the hearts of those He wants to contribute and help them to give freely and joyfully.
2) If you or anyone you know that might want to help, have them contact me at kkelly11@students.towson.edu to help them make their contribution either by check, money order or even online giving.

Thank you to all for your continued prayers as we enter the one week mark until we leave, as we travel and while we are over there! On the left hand side, there is a Prayer list with some specific things you can pray for our team about.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata.

Why go? Part 2

[DISCLAIMER: This is somewhat long-winded and I apologize, but I feel it all contributes to why I am going to Botswana]

In my last post, I talked about why I am going to Botswana this summer. My answer to that question has two parts. The one I talked about last time is about what Jesus has done in my life. How he loves us, died for our sin and offers us new life. The other part of the answer is the opportunity God has opened the door for.

When I first heard of Summer Project during my freshman year at Cru, it didn’t really interest me. I thought it was great thing, but just not for me. I spent the school year being away from my family and my friends from home and I wanted to spend my summer with them; plus I needed to find a job and earn money. I prayed consistently for two of my friends going on summer project or STINT (a one year mission’s trip overseas). That summer came and went. I worked, went to Watertown, NY for a mission’s trip with the youth group from my church and enjoyed time with my family and friends. 

Sophomore year began and I began to learn more about God’s love for the world. In Acts 1:8b Jesus is talking to his disciples after he had risen from the dead and just before he ascends into heaven. He tells them this, “you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” I heard someone explain this verse in this way. Jerusalem was the city the disciples were in, Judea was the larger area they were in and Samaria was the neighboring area.  It would be like Jesus commanding us to be his witnesses in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, neighboring states, and to the ends of the earth.  Jesus told and commanded the disciples to be his witnesses where they were, short distances away and across to the ends of the earth. This command began to marinate in my mind over then next year.

At Radiate (a Cru conference over winter break) that year, I really felt God showing me how important that whole idea of taking the Gospel everywhere we go, even to the corners of the world. At the conference they talked about God’s love for all people and the different opportunities to be a part of God’s plan in taking the Gospel across the country and around the world. I started examining what was holding me back from going. As a variety of things came to the surface, I realized a main restriction I was placing on myself was not trusting that God will take care of everything. I decided to offer up my summer and apply for summer project to Botswana. I was looking at the list and Botswana seemed to scream, jump and tap dance off the page. I also loved that the project dealt with kids and from what I had heard from people who had gone the previous summer.

After talking with my parents, I applied and got my references in order. I then waited for the following 6 and half weeks to hear back if I got accepted. I tried to not too excited since nothing was set in stone. I had all my close friends, my Bible study and the freshman Bible study I co-led praying for God to have me wherever He wanted me for the summer. One day as I was about to leave for my anatomy lab, I saw I had an e-mail telling me because of an excess of female applicants, my application had been declined. I was devastated. My heart seemed to ache after a quick cry and during lab, where we ironically were studying the cardiovascular system. After class I was walking to the Union to meet for discipleship and I saw I had a voice mail. It was from the director of the summer project to Central Asia. I was so mixed up. Was this God telling me to go there instead? After talking with my parents, my old youth pastor, my discipler and close friends, I came to the conclusion that Central Asia just didn’t capture my heart. I have always been a big advocate of doing what you are passionate about. I knew if I went God would work in miraculous ways, but I couldn’t let myself do it just because the opprotunity came my way. So I withdrew my application and declined the opportunity to go to Central Asia.

I spent the summer working two jobs and spending time with family. I decided to apply once more for the summer project to Botswana and if I was denied again, then God has a different course for me to take.  When I got the call from Jen, the assistant project director, telling me I was accepted, I was speechless. I couldn’t believe it. It was actually going to happen. I was going to Botswana.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata.

How Jesus Rocked My World.

I've been asked a lot "Why would you want to go to Africa?". I have expected questions similar to this one. My answer is twofold, the first part being about this awesome relationship I have with a dude named Jesus.

Even though I grew up going to church and had a lot of knowledge about God, I didn’t really know Him and definitely didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. For me, God just wasn’t an active part of life. I went to church and Sunday school every week. I believed all of the information I knew about God and it guided my morals of what was right and what was wrong, but it was mostly from a distance. I was constantly living to fulfill others’ expectations for me and to ultimately be accepted by others. I did this by working hard to get good grades, making the volleyball team, following the rules, and doing what I was supposed to do. As a result, I felt empty and worn-out.

Every Memorial Day from 7th grade to 12th grade, I went with my church's youth group on a retreat in the Poconos we called Tusc. At Tusc when I was a freshman in high school, I was challenged for the first time with the question of ‘What am I living for?’. I believed that God loves us and He sent Jesus to die for our sins so we can live in heaven with God forever, but that was not reflected in the way I was living. I was living for playing time, straight A’s and a being a morally good person. Once I realized how contradicting this was, I decided that I needed God to be a dynamic part of my life.

At that moment, I sat down and just told God that I was sorry for not following Him and doing things that were not honoring to Him. I asked Him to forgive me for those sins and I thanked God for loving me. I then thanked Him for sending Jesus to die for the sins I’d done, so that I don’t have to pay the price for them and I can live with God and Jesus in heaven forever. I felt a rush of calmness come over me and from that point on I have never been the same.

My life is far from perfect, but it is way better now that Jesus is a huge and active part of my life. Instead of living for things that do not satisfy and will ultimately fail me, I try to live for Jesus because I am no longer a slave to those things and now experience freedom that lies with the new life I have found in Jesus. I still struggle with letting others' expectations and acceptance of me take control over areas of my life. I find myself continually going back to God and asking him to let His love be enough for me. The best thing is this: Jesus will never leave me. He will always completely satisfy me, always accept me and most importantly always love me.

I challenge you to ponder the question, "What am I living for?", because it changed the trajectory of my life.

“Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.’ ‘Sir,’ they said, ‘always give us this bread.’ Then Jesus declared, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata.

April Briefing Low Down

In April, all the international summer projects from the Mid-Atlantic region met up at a campground near West Chester, PA for a briefing. There we got to meet our teams and spend the weekend casting vision for our trips and participating in a team building activity competition. We competed with the other teams going to Australia, Kazakhstan, Venezuela, and another location in Africa.  In the picture below, we are displaying our advertisement, the one event that we won. The reason for us winning was because of our teams shear size since the winner was based on the loudest cheers and our team was the biggest(most teams were about 6 or 7 members compared to our 22).  Although we didn't win, we had a great time getting to know each other. Below is a picture of our team, minus one, from the last day of the briefing.  One of our team members is from Washington state, so she was unable to come for the weekend. 34 days until Botswana!

  

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata.

Where "From the Corners of the Earth" came from...

Finals week officially began this morning at 8am. With one final down and three more to go, I can not stop day dreaming about Botswana. Excited barely comes close to describing my anticipation for the trip. There are about 15 other people from Towson Cru (our nickname for Campus Crusade for Christ) that are going on summer project. The stateside projects include Colorado, Seattle, Hampton Beach(New Hampshire) and Ocean City(Maryland). Hampton Beach and Ocean City are both 10 week projects where those students get jobs for the summer. The international projects include Chile, Ecuador, Venezuela, Botswana (me), another undisclosed location in Africa, Kazakhstan, and East Asia.It's been really crazy to be apart of such a large group from our campus going out literally from coast to coast here in the US and around the world.

I knew about where everyone was going, but this whole concept of people from my campus reaching all over the globe didn't hit me until last week. A song came on my iTunes that illuminated this idea in my head. That song, "From the Corners of the Earth" by Starfield, is also where I got the title for this blog; I found it quite appropriate.

Here are some of excerpts of those lyrics that struck out to me:

From every nation God is calling out His own...

From the north to the south to the east to the west, we sing
To the one, to the one, to the one who is our King
One body, one church, one savior, one call to praise...

Hey! From the corners of the earth

We will sing of your great worth
And around the world proclaim
Our God Reigns

Here's a link to a YouTube link of that song if you want to check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sJo5LTwr-g.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata.

T minus seven weeks and counting...

Seven weeks from the very moment I am writing this, I will be at Dulles Airport reunited with my team, awaiting our departure to Botswana. That fact, although I know it's true, it all still seems to fade in and out of reality for me. It hasn't hit me that I will be spending roughly five weeks in Botswana, a country in Southern Africa. No matter how many times I tell people this, I still can't believe it's actually happening.

For the first half of our trip, we will be helping out at an orphan feeding station. We will be running a sports camp and vacation Bible school for the kids. I am so excited to meet these kids and to play with them! Please pray for these kids. I haven't even met them, and I love them so much!

The second half of our trip we will be talking to college students on the campus of the University of Botswana. The country only has one university, which means it is filled with the country's future leaders. We will talk with the students about spiritual things and hear their thoughts on life and God.

The official language of Botswana is English, however, it is mainly used as a language of business. Setswana is their native language and is more of their "relational" language. Our director explained it this way; you could go up to the  desk at a hotel and ask for a phonebook in English. The person at the desk would converse with you in English, but when they converse with their co-worker, they would speak in Setswana. The kids, especially the younger ones will probably only know Setswana. We've been learning, through our group on facebook, a few phrases in Setswana. Something really awesome I have found out is that a few years ago, Chris Tomlin, a popular Christian singer, was over in Botswana. While he was there, the people taught him his song "We Fall Down" in their language. We've actually been learning the song so we can sing it when we go. This is a YouTube link for the song in both English and Setswana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCrRZc_gruU.

I promise to post again soon, but I probably should go study for some of my finals (finals week starts this Wednesday 5/18 and ranges to the following Tuesday 5/24). Enjoy your day!

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Modimo o a go rata